Lizzie's wedding
Written at 9:29 a.m. on 2005-08-30
Haven't updated for a while so I thought I'd put down what I got up to at the weekend.
On Thursady we went to M's aunt's wedding. She was marying a millionaire (nice work if you can get it). It was the poshest wedding I've ever seen in my life, the marquee was on the golf course in his garden (!!) and was roughly the size of Newquay and the portaloos had Molton and Brown cosmetic in them! I work in Civil Engineering and half the portaloos I go into don't even have a sink let alone Molton and Brown cosmetics. Rather unfortunately the vintage champagne was so much flowing as flooding round the wedding and this meant I reached the stage of drunk known as 'tactless'. M's dad announced he wasn't coming to our wedding because M's mum and stepdad were coming. I informed him that he was being very silly and childish and if he wanted he could just ignore them all day but he was coming. Then M was trying to explain his sister's behaviour to his aunt. I told him to stop beating around the bush and just tell the truth - that she's a spoiled bitch who needs a bloody good slap and should have been told to shut it years back. He took it remarkably well. I really should become tee total, no good comes of me getting thoroughly drunk.
When we got back to the hotel we pretty much passed out. We then got woken up at 3am, 4am, 6.30am and 8am by 2 people who really should learn that if you are going to shag all bloody night it is courtesy not to scream like a scalded banshee and to move the headboard away from the wall. At 4 she was actually shrieking 'Spank me big boy'. I don;t know about spanking but by that time I would quite happily have given her a good kicking.
Friday was the 'Champagne Hangover' day. It doesn't even warrant mentioning. It hurt, it didn't feel good and the only useful thing I acheived all day was buying a packet of chocolate digestives from the Co-Op. That was when I decided I was never going to drink again.
It lasted till Saturday.
