I survived Christmas!!
Written at 9:00 a.m. on 2007-01-04
It�s 2007 and I survived Christmas.
Well I survived another Christmas with M�s family. Actually it wasn�t nearly as bad as the last time. His sister is either in therapy or on some seriously heavy duty tranquilisers because she didn�t have any screaming tantrums at all. In fact I don�t even remember here shouting at anyone which was most unexpected. M�s mother did insist on holding his hand while watching television and had a proper strop when she wasn�t invited to every single gathering that his friends had (how weird is that? My mum would never expect to be invited to my mate�s parties) but all in all that was about it. Oh apart from his stepdad�s drinking which to be fair is rather excessive. On the 23rd he drank 3 bottles of red wine and didn�t get up until 4pm on Christmas eve. On Christmas day I�ve no idea what he drank but given the state of him it was more that the 3 bottles he had on the 23rd, he was absolutely shitfaced. He offended M and his mum while making Christmas dinner, blew up the combination oven, was rude to M�s aunt and eventually crashed out (and I mean crashed literally, I amazed he didn�t go through the floorboards) fully clothed. He didn�t bother with boxing day at all, didn�t even get up, just rang down to M�s mum every now and then to request coffee and sandwiches. And all day M�s mum kept going �Oh he�s not going to get up today because he rather over ate last night and he�s got terrible indigestion�. A valiant effort dear but really rather pointless as we all know that he does not have indigestion, he�s got a stonking great hangover! Still, the whole thing went quicker than I was expecting and I survived and don�t have to do it again for almost 2 whole years.
Then on the 29th we had another full Christmas dinner with my family, complete with all the trimmings! It�s not really any wonder that this morning my work trousers are feeling a little more snug than they did at the end of last year.
For new year we had decided to have a little dinner party with me, M, my best friend and her fianc�, our friend Ste and M�s miserable arsecrisp of a cousin and his wife, who is a really lovely girl. M�s cousin is very religious, very dull, very teetotal and VERY hard work. Neither me nor M have ever seen him laugh and I�m not joking either. We asked everyone to be at ours for 7pm and the food was going to be served at 7.30pm. 7 comes and Cass, Gary and Ste arrive. 7.30pm comes and goes, no cousin and wife, quarter to eight, still no show. 8pm, an hour after we asked them to arrive M gets a text saying �We�ve decided to stay in tonight so we won�t be coming, have a nice night�. No explanation, no apology, nothing, How rude is that? I was very cross and had to throw away quite a bit of food. Still, we had a far better night without miserable Malcolm and at least we didn�t spend the evening looking at his grumpy and disapproving face. After the meal we went to the pub and had a fantastic and truly drunken night! Unfortunately at about 2am some pissed up eejits at the table next to us decided to start throwing punches at each other, a table went over and my lovely, dry clean only wool coat received 2 pints of Stella Artois. Never mind, could have been worse!
So that was my Christmas and New Year. Here�s hoping 2007 has lots of the good stuff that 2006 had but without the shit stuff. Happy New Year everyone!
