Prat Update
Written at 11:20 a.m. on 2006-06-15
Prat Update
Well, just thought I�d post a prat update to keep abreast of the mighty Ross�s latest attempts to get right on my wick. The day before yesterday M decided (possibly because I was threatening to do it myself) to ring Ross and see what the problem was. So finally, after Ross has ignored his phone calls a few times he manages to get hold of him (by calling his house phone incidentally, which doesn�t reveal the caller identity) and asks him what his problem is. Ross denies there is any problem and then announces he doesn�t want to be a groomsman. Nice one shithead, we asked you that a year ago and 4 weeks before the wedding you announce you don�t want to be a groomsman? This is information which could possibly have been brought to our attention before this time. His reason for not wanting to be groomsman? He didn�t want to leave his wife on a table without him for an hour and a half while he sat at the top table. Now even if you leave aside the fact that if his wife is incapable of breathing without him for an hour and a half then natural selection should have weeded her out years back you have to remember that this is the man who in November was talking about leaving his wife and child behind in Scotland while he climbed Everest. I�m sorry, I must have missed the point at which climbing Everest became a day-trip, I was labouring under the misapprehension that it would take several months, silly old me. Does he think we�re some sort of fucking halfwits? If someone doesn�t want anything to do with my wedding and they just say so then I�ll be irritated but I�ll at least respect the honesty. Treating me like someone with the mental capacity of a sausage casserole is something that is guaranteed to make me rant. Especially if it is coming from someone with the brains of a turnip and the social skills of an anaconda with a hangover.
Anyway, M was feeling really awkward about telling Ross that he can�t bring his child with him coz we said no kids and all those in my family who I told to leave them with someone would riot. Apparently the last time Ross and M fell out, their families all fell out too and no one spoke to each other for 2 whole years. So if M told Ross not to bring his daughter then Ross�s entire family would refuse to come and they�d fall out with him and his mum and lord knows who else. Is it me or is that weird? My family never took the blindest bit of notice who I fell out with and would certainly never have dreamed of getting involved. I think the electricity supply up there must be a bit intermittent causing the lights and the telly to go off regularly leaving them with nothing to do but fall out with friends, family and neighbours because there�s always someone not speaking to someone else. So I had a think and in a rare gesture of conciliation (because I usually have less inclination to compromise than an angry mule, especially if someone has annoyed me) I spoke to my parents about asking the members of the immediate family if they want to bring their children so that when Ross turns up with his child there will be no sulks. So that�s what we�re doing, even though I would rather out pins in my eyes than pander to that giant great shite. He knew there were no kids involved and he now knows that I have backed down. I have gone against every instinct and principle and visibly backed down to someone who is essentially an emotional bully, something I would NEVER normally do and the only reason I did was to get M out of an awkward situation. If that�s not a demonstration of love then I don�t know what is!! However I do draw the line at making small talk with the hairy little hobbit-man and he better stay the hell out my way for the next month!!
Ah the joys of wedding planning. I really can�t understand why M�s mum has done this 3 times.
