I Am Hungover And Stupid
Written at 11:57 a.m. on 2006-04-15
I Am Officially Stupid.
It�s true you know. Otherwise I would learn that certain tings are a bad idea. Such as the pub wine I drank on Thursday night. I went for a bit of a catch up with the girls in a rather ropey old pub in Bury and since Amy was drinking white wine I thought that I would have a glass. When it arrived it tasted a bit like I imagine bleach would taste but if you stuck some soda water in it it was just about drinkable. Now I�m from Irish stock and I can drink like a fish but I suspect the wine may have been off because after 2 small glasses I was as pissed as a newt. Truly wrecked. I got home and had to repeatedly ring the doorbell to get M to let me in as all attempts to put key in lock met with spectacular failure. I then fell over the dog, fell up the stairs, poked myself in the eye with the bloody toothbrush and went to bed with make up and clothes still on. Saturday morning as you can imagine I was a vision of beauty and radiance. I had the hangover from hell, my makeup had sort of slipped downwards making me look like some variety of circus freak, I had a spot the size of France on my forehead and I had to take Cass for a dress fitting with my aunt, a woman whose doesn�t do quiet and whose voice could shatter glass. Not even a Macdonalds tamed the hangover and I spent the entire day feeling very sorry for myself.
Well until about 5pm anyway. Which is what time I ended up in the pub with Cass. We were going to our next door neighbour�s house to watch the football and so we every sensibly said we�d go and watch the match, have a couple of drinks and come home early. So we watched the match, some spectacularly violent film about football thugs with that little bloke who was a small thing with hairy feet in Lord of the Rings, had a few dozen vodkas and crawled home smashed as anything at 2.00am. So I still feel like shit and it is entirely my own fault. I am again still wearing the tattered remnants of last night�s makeup and so my spot has now increased to roughly the size of Russia. I feel like someone who doesn�t so much have a head with a spot on it, more a spot with a head on it and I just remembered that I am supposed to be at the annual work rugby club sponsors day, a huge work funded piss up. No way. I am NOT drinking anything today. My brain hurts and I�m not sure my organs won�t give up entirely if I attempt to sneak any more vodka past them.
I really should become teetotal. Or at least less stupid. And I certainly won�t be drinking pub wine again. Well, I�ve been up for an hour, I think I might go back to bed now and contemplate whether my memory is misleading me when it keeps suggesting that I invited about 15 people to my house for dinner on Monday. I sincerely hope that it is.
