Past jobs
Written at 1:17 p.m. on 2006-01-18
Unfortunately today I am having to actually do some 'work' at work instead of the usual fannying about and playing on the internet so this is going to be quite a short entry.
I just wanted to take up Clarity's suggestion that people post their past jobs on their sites before I forget about it.
So here we go....
1st Job - Waitress at Bury Golf Club. I got 4 marriage proposals and some truly indecent offers which considering I was 13/14 at the time perhaps says something about some of the people who played golf there. The chef was a highly offensive, hugely fat, bad tempered Irishman whose favourite question to waitresses was "Are you completly stupid or are you just pretending".
2nd Job - Waitress at a greasy spoon cafe in Bury Town centre. 8 till 5 every Saturday. I always smelled like fry ups and once the total tit I was dating at the time cme in and spread ketchup all over a table which I then had to clean up.
3rd Job - Waitress and sandwich maker at a posh department store in Manchester city centre. Some of the posh people who came in were vile and on the first day of the January sales I once saw two women actually fist fighting over a skirt. The one new years day I was asked to be by 8am I got sent home after an hour, along with 3 others because we were so pissed we kept breaking things and we laughed at someone's hat.
4th job - Checkout assistant. I got fired for telling an extremely abusive customer that they'd found the door easily enough on the way in, it was no more challenging to find it on the way out and I suggested she fuck off and try it. Apparently if I'd just stuck to 'fuck off' I'd have only got a written warning.
4th Job - Bar tender in Manchester city centre during uni summer hols - Most enlightening, the man who ran the protection racket for that area took a shine to me, leading to a birthday lock in that cost Greenalls more than a grand which had to be accounted for as 'spillage'. 4 members of staff got fired, including myself, a little unfair as I wasn't working that night so I could hardly be blamed if the guy made my birthday party get a little out of hand. Bloody terrifying, he wouldn't let us leave and I drank so much vintage champagne that I went temporarily blind. Fortunately I was meant to be finishing the next week.
5th job - bar tender at a bar near my uni - Not a bad job, except for the night England beat Germany 5-1 (or 4-1, whichever!) and I was working a double shift. When the pub kicked out every single square inch was covered in glass and as Ronnie's dog had switched the taps on in the bath of the flat upstairs the bath had overflowed and blown the lights in the gents loo. Leading to many pub tables being covered in pint glasses full of piss that we had to shift. Not pleasant.
6th Job - Temp at Reebok's UK headquarters. Working with the Rockport marketing team was a laugh but then i got transferred to Reebok's Product Development Department. I spent 40 hours a week sticking little squares of fabric onto A4 paper, assigning the paper a reference number and putting that onto the computer in an office of the most truly unpleasant and snotty women I have ever had the misfortune to meet. The highlight of my day would be when my sellotape ran out and I could go down to the post room to get some more and chat to the post room lads. That is no life for anyone but on the upside I did make friends with a bloke called Chris who was part of the contractors painting the building. He was absolutely beyond gorgeous, looked like a male model. On the downside I left and moved home before anything happened. C'est la vie.
7th job - Cook and holiday cover office manager for a 21 bed nursing home - working for your dad sucks big time. You can't pull a sickie when your dad heard you roll in plastered at 4am. On the bright side I can now cook, which I couldn't when I started the job, leading to a whole world of fun. My dad would not have employe dme as a cook had he not been absolutely desperate but I'm quite good now.
8th job - This one, health and safety coordinator for a civil engineering company. My dad said I'd got too cosy working for him and so if I didn't find myself a job he'd fire me to give me an incentive. Charming. So here I am, office bitch, doer of the jobs that no one else in my office can be arsed with and taker of shit off site agents, most of whom could do with a slap int he face with an antique haddock. But it pays the bills, the office staff are nice and I'm getting trained to do something that I might actually one day earn decent money doing.
So that's my job history. Turned out longer than I thought! I've been in constant employment since I was 13 so I suppose it would be considering I'm now 26. Suppose I better go and do what I'm paid to do before I end up adding "Got Fired" to another job!
