Stony broke and slightly lardy
Written at 12:26 p.m. on 2005-12-12
Well this weekend M, my parents and me went to France for the annual booze run. Great fun, made friends with a frenchman called John-Pierre who has invited us to stay at his house next year, although this could have something to do with the single malt whisky that was disappearing like apple juice at that point. Was supposed to just get a couple of cases of nice but inexpensive red wine. Came back with enough wine (red, white AND pink)to start a small off licence, a bottle of vodka, a bottle of gin, 2 pairs of shoes, a matching handbag, a new Clinique concealer and some perfume. I now have plenty of time to stay in and admire my new purchases because I can't afford to leave my house until about June. Never mind.
Am slightly worried about the lardy situation. We are fast coming into the festive season where the aim is to eat as much as possible and drink until all the baubles on the christmas tree blur into a big shiny, bright blob in front of your eyes. Now it doesn't matter how many times I tell myself that all I'm doing is stockpiling weight for when bird flu arrives and it's too dangerous to go to the supermarket as it's full of diseased people, the fact is that this is an excuse for the fact that I eat too mucg crap and spend too long sat on my arse. I am going into the festive season carrying more lard than is neccessary and it's not good. And why is it that lard collects int eh places you don't need (stomach, chest, backs of arms) and not on the skinny bits that could do with a bit of filling out? Most unfair. So now I'm going to have to do some exercise which, being congenitally bone idle, is not a prospect that fills me with joy.
So if anyone knows any form of exercise that tones up the body without you having to make an arse of yourself in public or spend a fortune and which isn't likely to induce a stroke, please let me know as soon as possible!
