Racism in suprising places
Written at 9:10 a.m. on 2005-09-22
Went to M's cousin's wedding in Belfast on Tuesday. His cousin is fromt he Highlands and the bride is from Belfast and all in all it was a lovely wedding and most of the people I met were fantastic but there was one major issue that is really driving me mental at the moment and that is the racism.
I am a white, middle class, 26 year old female and as such had never had any sort of racism levelled at me, something for which I'm truly thankful. That was until this wedding. Highland folk, it seems, are not exactly enamoured of the English. They have also not learned that it is rude to bitch about someone's race in front of them. Micah's mum, on several occasions, started or joined in some incredibly offensive diatribes against the English, clearly within earshot of me and there were a lot of such rants that night. She says these truly offensive things (including such well considered and intelligent remarks as "The English are all arrogant pigs who think they can do what they want", "Why should the damn English be able to come into Scotland without asking permission from the Scots" and "No one in Scotland want anything to do with the English") with such a look of total disgust on her face that I had to walk away to stop myself from giving her a slap. And I'm not even violent. It's not even just the older people that spout this crap, Jenifer, a woman of about 35, was doing the same. She then turns to me and says "Oh but we didn't mean you of course". Well I'm sorry but that isn't good enough. It's bloody offensive, they would never have ranted about the disgustingness of Asians in front of a Pakistani person. Why? Because it's racist ignorant shite and that doesn't change just because the racial group you're insulting is white. Having bashed M's ear about this he came out "Well she only said it because she was drunk". That's as maybe but alcohol doesn't change a person's opinion, it just makes them say things they would normally not voice out loud. He says this ridiculous Highland prejudice is mainly because of the clearances, when the English shifted a load of Highlanders off their land. 300 years ago! And I pointed out that while the idea may have been English, the hired thugs that did the legwork were lowland Scots. M said they don't like lowlanders either. Strikes me they don't like anyone much, frequently including each other. The thing is, if someone was blantantly and loudly racist against Asians, no one would expect and Asian person to go round to their house, sit down at their table and smile as if nothing had been said but that is what M is now expecting me to do. He says it will have a big effect on our relationship if I refuse to go back there and I can see that it would be a problem but I think it's so unfair that I am having the blame for creating a problem pushed onto me. I didn't say anything, I didn't hit them wih a load of pig ignorant, racist, offensive shite about Highlanders. I sat through them slating where I come from and the people like me and out of politeness and a desire not upset M or make a scene at someone's wedding I didn't say a damn thing, even thoguh I had a bloody good answer for every ridiculous thing she said. And now I don't know what to do. I really don't want to go up there again but how do I not? Any advice gratefully received.
They also regularly use the term 'paki' which is a word I really, really hate.
On the less serious side but yet still bitching, M's mum got seriously lashed (as per usual) on Monday night. She fell on her arse in the middle of a posh restaurant like a giant pissed up, purple clad beetle, wafting a wine glass and shrieking for another bottle of white and another of red. It was one fo the funniest thing I've ever seen!
